JENNY’S NEWS

IT IS SAID, U USE 10% OF YOUR BRAIN. MOST OF THAT 10% IS DEAD, IN MY BRAIN. SO, I'M JUST "RE-WIRING" THE 90% THAT'S UNUSED. THAT TAKES AWHILE, BUT THERE'S HOPE I CAN LEARN.

SO, SHOULD IT COME AS A SURPRISE, THAT THE KIDS RECENTLY EXCLAIMED, "SHE'S LIKE A BABY! (I WONDERED HOW THEY WERE JUST REALIZING THIS!) SHE'S LEARNING 2 TALK AGAIN!"

A FEW WEEKS AGO, I SAW MY BRO. AT MY PARENTS. AS I PASSED HIM, I THOUGHT "HI," & “HI” JUST POPPED OUT. MY DAD HEARD, & HE & MY BRO. WERE THRILLED.

LUCKILY, IT WAS A GOOD SPEAKING NIGHT, SO I COULD FILL REQUESTS 2 REPEAT "HI" & SAY BYE (ALTHOUGH, I'VE HEARD ME SAY "BYE" BETTER B4).

THEN, MORE RECENTLY, JESS ASKED IF APRIL WAS SPELLED W/1 OR 2 L'S—WITHOUT ANY HESITATION, I ANSWERED W/A VERY CLEAR "ONE." JESS WAS SHOCKED. I WAS SHOCKED SHE UNDERSTOOD ME! I OFTEN RESPOND W/O THINKING (THINGS LIKE "THANK U," "FIA," "YES," "NO," "I LOVE U"), BUT AM RARELY UNDERSTOOD, EXCEPT, SOMETIMES BY MK. (THE FAMILY ACTUALLY MOCK HOW I SAY "I O U." I LOVE 2 BE TOLD, "I O U 2!")

SO, JESS REQUESTED I SAY "ONE" AGAIN. IT WAS TWICE AS HARD, & DEFINITELY LESS RECOGNIZABLE WHEN I THOUGHT ABOUT SAYING THE WORD—SO, I TRIED AGAIN. STILL NOT AS GOOD, BUT BETTER ENOUGH 2 SATISFY HER.

OVER DUE 2 POST, BUT MY TYPING FINGER IS NEEDED ELSEWHERE. JUST LETTING U KNOW I HAVEN’T 4GOTTEN U! IN THE MEANWHILE, ENJOY THE NEW SCRAPBOOK PG.!

IT'S MY 4TH STROKE-AVERSARY: IN OTHER WORDS, IT'S BEEN 4 YRS. SINCE I STROKED. I WAS RECENTLY REMINDED OF THE 1ST YEAR AFTER I STROKED— BY FAR, THAT 1ST YEAR IS REALLY A STRUGGLE, 4 EVERY1—NOT JUST ME. GLAD IT IS FAR PAST, & THAT I'VE SURVIVED LONG ENOUGH 2 OUTLIVE THE NIGHTMARE I WAS DAILY LIVING—

AFTER MY STROKE, I REALIZED THAT, .LIKE IT OR NOT, I WAS HERE THIS WAY, & MADE THE CHOICE 2 TRY 2 MOVE FWD & MAKE THE BEST OF IT. EVEN NOW, THERE R TOUGH DAYS, BUT NOW MY LIFE SEEMS WORTHWHILE & IT GIVES ME A WILL 2 KEEP LIVING (MOST LOCKED-IN DIE W/IN A YEAR OR 2—I BELIEVE FROM THE LACK OF FEELING THEIR LIFE IS WORTHWHILE. AS A WIFE & YOUNG MOTHER, & DUE 2 MY RELIGIOUS BELIEFS, I WAS CONSTANTLY REMINDED OF MY WORTH. NOW, I’M 4 YEARS POST-STROKE, SO I'VE HAD A CHANCE 2 CHANGE MY VIEWPOINT!)

MY FAITH HELPED TONS 2 CHANGE MY VIEWPOINT, SINCE FAMILIES R CONSIDERED SO IMPORTANT, & I BELIEVE THAT SOMEDAY THERE WILL BE A LIGHT AT THE END OF THE TUNNEL, & MY BODY WILL AGAIN WORK. I MAY HAVE 2 DIE B4 THAT HAPPENS, & MY BODY WILL AGAIN WORK, BUT LIFE IS SHORT & I BELEIVE IT’S POSSIBLE, THROUGH CHRIST…THAT MAKES ME KEEP CHUGGING ALONG.

IN OCT., I “SPOKE" AT AN INTERNATIONAL DRS. CONFERENCE. A BIG QUES. WAS IF THEY SHOULD PULL THE PLUG 4 OTHERS LIKE ME…TOUGH 2 ANSWER, BECAUSE EVERY SITUATION IS SO DIFFERENT. I’VE NEVER EVER WANTED LIFE SUPPORT, BUT WHEN I STROKED, I WANTED THEM 2 DO ALL THEY COULD, AT THAT MOMENT.

THE 1ST 3 MONTHS, I COULD MOVE NOTHING, BUT MY EYELIDS, & LAID IN A BED. MY HUSBAND REALLY WAS A STRONG ADVOCATE & FOUGHT 4 ME & KNEW ME WELL ENOUGH 2 THINK, “JENNY WOULDN’T STAND 4 THAT!”

STILL, I HAD DAYS. IT CAN BE TOUGH PHYSICALLY & EMOTIONALLY. THOSE WHO CARE 4 ME, HAD 2 MAKE THE CHOICE WHETHER OR NOT I LIVED, BECAUSE IT ALSO MUST BE WEIGHED HOW MUCH U R WILLING 2 GIVE UP 4 THAT PERSON, IF THEY LIVE. NO DOCTOR CAN MAKE THAT CHOICE. THE STROKEE CAN'T MAKE THAT CHOICE. (BESIDES, THE ROAD IS SO ROCKY, I’M GLAD I DIDN’T DECIDE, OR, DEPENDING ON THE DAY, I WOULD’VE ANSWERED DIFFERENT!) I TOLD THE DOCTOR’S 2 LET FAMILY DECIDE, SINCE THEY NEED 2 WEIGH HOW THEIR LIVES WILL SERIOUSLY CHANGE.

OH HAPPY DAY! IT'S CLOSE TO 4 YEARS SINCE HAD THE FREEDOM 2 THINK, "I'M HUNGRY," & JUST GO GET A SNACK. SO, I DON'T SNACK—IT'S JUST NOT WORTH THE HASSLE OF FINDING & TELLING SOME1 2 FEED ME, GETTING A PAPER TOWEL BIB, TILTING MY CHAIR 2 ASSIT SWALLOWING, ETC—ALL 4 A SMALL SQUARE OF CHOCOLATE OR SOMETHING.

LUCKILY, I RARELY FEEL HUNGER, SO THIS, AT TIMES, ISN'T AN ISSUE. IN FACT, IT DOESN'T EVEN PHASE ME 2 SKIP LUNCH, BEING THAT I CAN'T BURN CALORIES AS FAST, & GAIN WEIGHT INCREDIBALLY FAST, IF I EAT "LIKE NORMAL."

BUT 2DAY A MACHINE WAS SET UP THAT I CAN ACCESS, CRANK TREATS OUT INTO A BOWL, & FEED MYSELF! COURSE, I NEEDED 2 GET STRONG ENOUGH 2 CRANK IT, & LIFT MY ARM 2 MY MOUTH, ALL WHILE HOLDING FOOD, & PLACE THE FOOD IN MY MOUTH. BUT I CAN! HOW INGENIOUS & CREATIVE OF MK 2 FIND A THING LIKE THIS EXISTED & USE IT IN A WAY THAT IT IMPRROVES MY LIFE! (NOT 2 MENTION, THE GREAT THERAPY IT OFFERS!)

THE NEW TRICK, SINCE IT'S FILLED W/TREATS & POPCORN AT THE KIDS EYE LEVEL, IS 2 TEACH THEM 2 NOT TOUCH MY FOOD! (BTW, POPCORN 'S GREAT 4 A TIRED ARM,, SINCE I CAN STTICK OUT MY TONGUE 2 GRAB IT, & IT STICKS 2 MY TONGUE!)

SORRY I'VE BEEN "OUT OF COMMISSION" SO LONG—I'VE BEEN TERRIBLY SICK & UNABLE 2 TYPE, THEN AT FAMILY FUNCTIONS—THEN MY KIDS WENT 2 MY SISTER'S (A SHOUT OUT 2 THEM), & TIGER TERRIBLY MISSES THHEM PLAYING, & GIVING HIM ATTENTION (SO, IF I'M TYPING & HE WANTS ATTENTION, HE WALKS ON MY KEYBOARD, & I SPEND MORE TIME DELETING, THAN TYPING! HIS NEW FAV. THING IS SO CUTE: HE SITS ON MY LAP, W/HIS FRONT PAWS ON MY UN-MOVING LEFT ARM, & WATCHES ME USE THE COMP.!)