THIS IS MY STORY
I’M A MOM OF 3: ZACHARY (BORN 1997), JESSICA (BORN 2000), & SOPHIA (FIA–BORN 2002). I’M MARRIED 2 MARK. I WAS 30, ON MARCH 16, 2004, WHEN I HAD A BRAINSTEM STROKE. NO 1 KNOWS WHY I HAD A STROKE, & I BECAME “LOCKED-IN.” I WAS LOCKED-IN FOR SEVERAL MONTHS & HAD A TRACHE, G-TUBE, & CATHTER. THESE ARE ALL GONE NOW. THIS WEBSITE RECORDS MY PROGRESS SINCE MARCH 16, 2004.
MY DISCHARGE PAPERS FROM CLEVELAND CLINIC STATE “BASILAR ARTERY OCCLUSION” . IT CAUSED BLOOD FLOW TO STOP GOING TO MY PONS, WHICH IS WHAT REGULATES VOLUNTARY MOVEMENT. THE PONS “RELAYS MESSAGES TO THE BRAIN, CONTROLS AROUSAL AND REGULATES RESPIRATION.” ACCORDING 2 MY MRI, I SHOULDN’T BE DOING ANYTHING THAT I’M DOING, & THERE R THOSE WHO NEVER GET AS WELL AS ME–& REALLY, I JUST MOVE MY HEAD & RT. ARM! BUT, IT IS TRULY A MIRACLE THAT I DO WHAT I DO.
THE POSTS ON MY BLOG PROBABLY SOUND MORE IMPRESSIVE THAN I WAS. WE R NOT ONES 2 GRIPE, SO THE POSTS PROBABLY (I’VE NEVER COMPLETELY READ THEM) SPEAK ABOUT A GLASS THAT’S 1/2 FULL…IN THE BEGINNING, I MOVED MY MOUTH VERY LITTLE, & SAT TILTED AT 1ST. IT WAS EXHAUSTING & DIDN’T LAST LONG. I DIDN’T MOVE 4 ALMOST 3 MONTHS. 2DAY, I’M IN A WHEELCHAIR (THOUGH, IF HELD RIGHT, I CAN WALK, DESPITE BEING PARALYZED ON MY LT. SIDE), I CAN MOVE MY HEAD & RIGHT ARM, I CAN WRITE, I CAN SWALLOW ANY CUT UP FOOD (EVEN STEAK & FINELY CRUSHED CHIPS), I CAN SIP THROUGH A STRAW, I HAVE DOUBLE VISION, I’M LIGHT SENSATIVE, I HAVE PBA, (NO CONTROL OF MY EMOTIONS) & CAN’T SPEAK (I USE A MODIFIED SIGN LANGUAGE, BUT I CAN SAY A FEW GARBLED WORDS).
I KNOW WHEN I STARTED WRITING ON MY BLOG, I AVOIDED WRITING DURING ANY DAY THAT THERE WAS A “PITY PARTY” OR DEEP DEPRESSION. THOSE DAYS EXIST JUST AS MUCH, & R IMPORTANT, BECAUSE I WAS GREIVING A LOSS & STRUGGLING W/A DRAMATIC LIFE CHANGE. BUT I CHOSE 2 SILENTLY DEAL W/THOSE DAYS, & PUBLICLY DEAL WITH THE MANY OTHER UPBEAT DAYS. THE 1ST YR. IS SUCH A STRUGGLE, AS I ACCEPTED THE WAY THINGS R NOW, BUT LIFE DOESN’T NEED 2 END!
MY HUSBAND WAS SO VERY OPTMISTIC. HE PUSHED & HELPED ME IN EVERY WAY HE COULD, & STILL DOES. AT TIMES, HE EXPECTS THINGS, & I THINK, “R U KIDDING? DO U REMEMBER I HAD A BRAIN INJURY, & IT’S A MIRACLE I CAN DO ANYTHING, & U WANT MORE?!?” BUT THS EXPECTING IT, MIXED W/SHEER DETERMINATION, FAITH, & PRAYER, MAKE ME FIND NEW HEIGHTS & ACHEIVE MORE THAN WAS EVER SAID 2 BE POSSIBLE. BEFORE MY STROKE, I TAUGHT AT A LOCAL SCRAPBOOK STORE & LOVED 2 SING, DANCE, & JOURNAL OR LETTER WRITE.
NOW, THE WEBSITE IS LIKE MY JOURNAL — SPORADIC, BUT I WRITE WHAT I’M EXCITED ABOUT W/PROGRESS, & MY THOUGHTS (NEWS, RECOVERY, UPDATES). OCCASIONALLY, MARK OR OTHER FAMILY MAY POST. I ALSO POST PICTURES & SCRAPBOOK PAGES I DIGITALLY MADE. DESPITE MY DOUBLE VISION, I’M A PUBLISHED DIGITAL SCRAPBOOKER, & DESPITE TYPING W/1 FINGER, I’VE HAD AN ARTICLE PUBLISHED IN THE LDS CHURCH MAGAZINES, THE ENSIGN & LIAHONA BECAUSE I HAVE BEEN BLESSED 2 DO MORE (MOST PEOPLE W/A STROKE LIKE MINE CAN NEVER DO MORE THAN BLINK,), I FEEL A CERTAIN RESPONSIBILITY 2 “SPEAK OUT”, & AM OPEN 2 QUESTIONS ABOUT MY STROKE, IN 2007, I “SPOKE” AT AN INTERNATIONAL DOCTOR’S CONFERENCE, WITH THE HELP OF MY HUSBAND.
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| My family in 2003, before the stroke. | My family at Christmas 2005, almost two years after the stroke. |
